A Tornado of Craziness Called “Life”

I’m going to get real for a moment. Life is crazy right now. It seems like each day I have one million and one things to think about and get done…and then more gets added on top of that. In fact, it’s so crazy that I am starting to get excited about going to workout because that’s the only time I get to watch Netflix and “relax” for a little bit…

With the due date on my Senior Thesis slowly getting closer and closer, trying to find a job for post graduation,Β graduation (May 19), trying to move as much unused stuff out of my house as possible since I go home most weekends for pre-marital counseling and other obligations so that when I actually move out on May 19 it’ll be a little easier without having quite so much to take home, working, figuring out and planning to leave for Ireland on May 20th (the day after graduation), completing my internship, trying to keep up in my other two classes (one which is Spanish Literature..which seems to be pretty difficult for me for some reason. I think I just don’t have the energy to give it the time it needs right now. I’m still doing really decent in the class, but I struggle to be interested in it.), trying to keep up with working out daily and eating somewhat healthy, trying to figure out living situations for both post-graduation and post-wedding, oh yeah..planning a wedding, dealing with all of the other crazy things life has decided now would be a good time to throw at me, and trying to still have a little fun and enjoy my last few weeks as a college student….. I am exhausted. I feel like I have no time to do anything. I get up, go to work, go to school/my internship, go to the gym, go work on homework, go to sleep, repeat (with some of those other things thrown in there at different random times). I don’t just sit around at home at night and watch TV (although, that would be nice sometimes.) I don’t just go out with my friends all the time and have fun and spend a bunch of money that I don’t have. I work so hard and I am so busy, but I feel like I have nothing to show for it…

This is how I feel.

I know that I probably sound like I am complaining..and I am. Yesterday was a really bad day for me..full of tears, stress, and lots of emotions. And I know that in 37 days, I will be done with all of the school and the homework and the internship and my life here in Dubuque… but to be honest, I have no idea what I will be doing post-graduation yet and that is TERRIFYING to me.

One of my professors, Sheila, keeps telling us not to worry about not having a job post-graduation yet because our industry is different than other industries like business and accounting and nursing and others. Many businesses that hire for jobs in those categories start hiring way ahead of time so that they can have a bunch of people start all at once. Most places don’t need more than one graphic designer (unless they are a graphic house/design firm). That being said, they usually don’t hire a bunch at once, or at all really, until they realize “oh shoot, we need a graphic designer and we need one now.” and then that’s when they start interviewing to fill the position. Our industry is very competitive and the windows of opportunity are only open for a short time.

However, I am a “planner”. I plan my life months in advance..and so the fact that I have no idea where or what I will be doing in 46 days besides being moved back to my parents house in Pella for the couple of months leading up to the wedding, scares me. I am trying very hard to be patient and praying to hear back from at least one of the jobs that I’ve applied for..but I haven’t been having much luck (which stresses me out even more).

I just keep trying to remind myself that everything will work itself out eventually.. and that in 177 short days, I will be having the best day of my life (so far) and Ryan and I will be married and life will be good. It’ll still be crazy..as we will have our honeymoon and I’m a bridesmaid in another wedding and then it’ll be Thanksgiving and Christmas..so I won’t really get a chance to relax until 2019. But that’s okay. Since I am so busy now, it’ll be good for me to slowly ween of being busy all of the time instead of just going from super busy to super bored.

I just wanted to give everyone a little life update since I had a very short, “free” moment this morning (I should’ve probably been working on my thesis, but oh well). I’ve been so busy that I haven’t even had time to write a post about Ryan and I’s trip to Chicago and that was almost two weeks ago. So if you don’t hear much from me in the next month or so, this is why. And if you’ve made it this far, here’s a nice little encouraging photo that I keep re-reading over and over to try and remind myself that everything will get done. It just takes time and I need to take one thing at a time.

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